1. My method: we stared at john. He leaned straight right back in their chair and grabbed a weapon through the countertop, “don’t move.”

1. My method: we stared at john. He leaned straight right back in their chair and grabbed a weapon through the countertop, “don’t move.”

2. Alt: we stared at john. He leaned right straight right back in the chair and grabbed a weapon through the counter. “Don’t move.”

3. proper means: we stared at john. He leaned straight straight straight right back in their chair and grabbed a weapon through the countertop. “Don’t move,” he stated.

Exactly exactly just What I’m doing is saying an interest at the start of a phrase (john. He.) then, by after their actions by having a comma and quotes, it is thought he’s the one speaking. Perhaps you have seen this before? Or perhaps is this simply me personally. We don’t think it is grammatically proper.

Associated with examples you provided, I’d prefer variation 2. There’s no need certainly to slow an action scene down with unneeded discussion tags, so I’d slice the “he said” and employ the action overcome to identify who’s talking. (more…)

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